Some updates..

I've been meaning to update my blog, but I just gotten really lazy. My monotonous daily routines for the past 4 months had made me extra lazy. I did plan to update my blog with some of my thoughts about cpop and the music I've been listening to, I even got some album covers photoshopped ready to update my blog, but my PC and internet connection just let me down. My PC was now reformatted and streamyx technicians had came to investigate my internet connection problem for 4 times already. That stupid fatty technician is just stupid and rude, he keep banging my mouse and smashing my keyboard, not to mention I have to listen to him complaining and babbling.. Hmm.. about the whole cpop entry thingy, I think imma update about it soon, but I doubt I'll put up album covers like I planned to, heck, I don't even have photoshop in my newly reformatted PC -_-.

But whatever, I've got my PC fixed now, although the internet connection is still a problem. It got disconnected every now and then. It's annoying when Im dling some big files. When it's like 80% completed then my connection got disconnected, and I can't resume the dl. Grrrr.. But on a brighther note, it's a lot faster now, probably it's because they got rid of the viruses.

So on to other updates in my life.

First, of course is my SPM results. I've got 11A1s, 1A2 and 1B3. Not too shabby. A2 is moral, B3 is Chinese and A2 for GCE 'O' lvl. Actually to be honest, I was only happy for my results for 2 minutes, then I just got an unknown feeling of sadness. After taking results, my friends planned to go and sing karaoke and celebrate, so I tagged along with them but then decided to go home when we reached the LRT station. Idk, but I guess I don't have any mood to go and celebrate. So I went back. My parents were of course undoubtedly happy for my results. I don't think they expected it. Then when I reached home, and I was alone in my house, it was only then I realised I wasn't satisfied with my result. So I listened to my Jolin CD to let out my sadness. I actually cried remembering the memories and moments when I attended my chinese tuition classes and some school chinese classes. Some of them were some best moments in my life. Chinese really mean a lot to me, although it was only when it's nearing SPM time that I realised that. But I worked very hard for it. I might have already expected to get B3 for Chinese, but the truth was just hard to accept. I had let my teacher down and more importantly, let myself down. It had marked a permanent flaw in my results and my life. Actually it was the first time I ever cried for my results, I always thought crying over bad results is just ridiculous, lol.. Although I would have much prefer to get B3 for my history instead, and trade my Chinese results with my history. A lot of times I thought I should appeal for my paper to be remarked. Because I think the essays I've written in my exam were the best essays I've ever written, the comprehension paper wasn't too shabby either, although I had mentioned in my past entry in LJ that there were some slipshods. And I thought it's either the slipshods or the teacher who's marking was too strict that had cause my bad grade. I had always have false hopes for my previous chinese papers, I always expected higher marks in my previous school chinese exams, but the actual marks I've gotten were way below my expectations. Just can't believe the same thing happened to my SPM.

But whatever, I've gotten over it by now. I actually felt much better after I cried and went for a nap. By now, I've accepted the fact. I am indeed satisfied and truly happy for my results now. I got a B, so what? Life moves on...

Ok, so then after I got my results, there's another thing I have to worry about. The dilemma I had for what course I should take. I've already posted this problem in HPB. I guess I'll just copy and paste it here. I'm still undecided until now. So give some comments if you can help.

I just got my SPM results (O levels) and having a headache now to choose what course Im going to take and what I'm going to do.

Before I took my results, I was thinking that I am going to become a scientist and take physics as my major. But now that I got my results and it's fairly good so Im thinking of applying scholarship to go study in university. But then none of the scholarships offered this course for physics. And my parents wanted me to try applying the scholarships for other courses and see if I'll get them. I know my parents would be quite reluctant to refuse the scholarship if I ever got them because the last time I was offered to an interview for a scholarship, i turned it down as there weren't any courses that I like. My dad weren't too happy about it. And now, these scholarships which would send me to even better universities overseas are even better than the previous ones, it's tempting, even to me.

So it had got me to start thinking. If I had indeed insisted to take physics, i will have to go form 6 (which is equivalent to A level) as there weren't any universities here that have physics foundation. By going form 6, I would have to work extremely hard as it's very hard to get good results then. So if I'm going to form 6 I have to risk having bad results and not able to go to good universities. But now I have quite good results and there were a lot other courses available for me..

Moreover, scientists are not really well recognised in my country. In fact, I had never heard of any scientist existing here, but that could just be my ignorance. But the fact is, the job oppurtunity here for scientist is low. I might have to work overseas in the future, which I don't really fancy to. Then I had also started wondering if Physics is really my passion afterall. Just because I have slightly better understanding in Physics and have more interests in it above other subjects, does that mean I have passion in it and should be a scientist/physician? Then I tried thinking back to the days when I was in my childhood, yes indeed I did want to become a scientist when I was young and always have those weird thoughts about everything, but doesn't everyone? *shrugs*

Some scientists took 10 years to have their research or invention done. Some can't even do it in their lifetime. Judging that Im such a lazy person and only passionate over something for a short period, do I have the patience and what it takes to carry out these researches?

On the other hand, there were other options. On top of all, there's actuarial science which is very tempting. An actuarist's salary is undenyably tempting.. I do like maths, but not as much as physics. And I think actuarial science is more to probability in maths, which is my weakest and most unlikable topic in maths. Actuarial science is a very tough subject too, and I'll have lots of competition. I'll have to face figures for the rest of my life including of my salary of course :P..

Ok, then there's also investment course. Im not sure if this is my cup of tea.... But I do like to analyse things and have slight interest in economics... And again, high salary and bonus.. But then again, Im much a lazy person, i'll have to suffer having competetors again.

However, the above two courses are much more stable and guaranteed to have a job in the future. Not only that, but also well paid.

It's like interest vs. money.. I had been encouraging people to pursue their dreams and that we only have a live. But now Im in this situation, I could only understand how hard it is to make this decision.. I know I have one life, should I just lead a stable one which means taking a more guaranteed course or am I ready to take quite a huge risk to become a scientist? I don't want to regret for my decision in the future.

Btw, do you think if it's possible if I study physics on my own and when I am rich in the future, I'll build myself a lab to do some researches? I'm sure it's much more complicated than this. It's quite impossible to study physics on my own without guidance. And how old am I going to be by then? I was also thinking of having two majors..... this is tough..

I need to get this sort out soon. My friends encouraged me to go for acturial science while my sister encouraged me to go for physics. And my dad encouraged me to go for investment. Arghhhhhhhhh!!.... I gotta make my decision soon..

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Ok, what bout my driving test? Haha.. I failed the slope part. Eww.. how embarrasing. lol.. I actually was on the yellow line, but when I start my car to move forward, my car moved a lil forward, so I stop accelerating but my car just started reversing. And I didn't get a second chance to try again.. Hmm.. I'll just keep tryin' like Hikki said, haha.. Although everytime I keep tryin' I'll have to pay RM135 O_O.. So I can't afford to fail again. My exam retake is on next Monday. Wish me luck lol.. I have got to pass this time!! But then..

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So I just gotten to find out about MTV Asia award from a Jolin forum 3 days ago and ever since then, I started to vote for her for the whole day. I've gotten a few friends and my sis to join in the Jolin's army! lol.. Hope she'll win. Her votes were increasing, kinda slow, she has got some tough competitions. Keep Tryin''''''

(This is probably the longest entry I've ever written)