The Turning Point of My Life

On Wednesday, I've received a SMS that might change my life forever. It was from MCA, the sms was written by MCA President's secretary. It says that I was put under a special help list for my jpa appeal, and that my jpa scholarship application was successful. I was in disbelief while reading the message. Before I finished reading it, I was already smiling and cracked the news to my parents. They too were in disbelief and asked me to show them the message. I couldn't suppress my feeling as I was trying not to smile, but I just got really excited. I didn't think I'd be so happy when I get the scholarship.

At the same time, I don't want to be too hopeful as it was only a SMS and nothing "official" yet. So I hesitated to tell my friends about the news yet and only told a few of them.

My dad called jpa for confirmation the next day and asked for more details from them. My dad sms-ed me when I was in school and said that I'm going to MARA International Shah Alam on Monday. It was really a short notice, I was having mixed feelings at that moment. Excited, but at the same time I was feeling sad as Im going to have to start a new life, leaving home and school.

I was thinking at that time, how to tell my classmates about it. When I told them, they thought I was kidding until I put on a serious look. I really like some of my classmates. Some of my classmates are really nice and friendly, and some are really hardworking and smart. I would ask them questions that I don't understand or asked them to help me solve some problems, they would have gladly helped me. I really appreciate it. I wish I had knew them better!

I was just feeling really motivated and determined on Tuesday to stay at form 6 as mentioned on my last post. I even bought all the reference books for all subjects on Wednesday getting ready to turn into a bookworm. I also had some study plans planned out and planned to go tuition with my classmates in July.

I remember I was feeling very lost, unsure, insecure and was at a very low point in my life 2 weeks ago, where I hated to go to school, and felt like giving up study. But then, I got motivated and had the drive to study when I went back to school. When I had a day off on Tuesday, I rearranged my mind set and really felt recharged to study form 6.

I could sort of relate how I am feeling now with Nicholas' post, where I am afraid to lose something important in life and the desire to sustain the joyful or memorable moments longer.

I hope I will be able to face the challenges ahead and I'll have a smooth path ahead. I hope this decision would be a right decision even though some of my friends advised me to stay at form 6. But, I am quite firm with my decision.

By getting this scholarship, I started to believe that there are still hopes and there'll always be hopes. I thought I was clinging on false hopes all along during SPM, I was wrong. God has Her own ways of planning things, and always full of surprises and miracles. God must had put me in form 6 for the past month for a reason (reasons). It's probably to let me learn and grow up from it.